Weigh In 16th September + Past Week

This past week has been a bit of an interesting, for me its just been so busy with work, its just hectic in general, but in the midst of all that, I have managed to keep on track and stick to the one thing I can control- my food.  

Last week I had done 2 sessions of swimming, one earlier in the week and the other on last Sunday, everything went well, felt really solid, and then woke up on Monday with terrible pains down the left side of my back, and went to work Monday and Tuesday and by Tuesday night at Kung Fu, I could hardly move, it was just so stiff and sore!  Sifu from Kung Fu recommended Ben to do some corrective techniques through the back which really helped, I walked out of there feeling so relaxed and calm, I went swimming Friday and since then it has tightened back up again, but I just need to make sure I keep it stretched and get it released every 2 weeks or so, and at the moment just maintain it.  

Due to the back injury this past week I haven't really been able to train, the only training session I had done were Kung Fu, but still managed to lose another 0.8kg this week taking me to 110.9, which makes me 16.2kg down in 19 weeks!

I also went shopping as Mum still owed me a present from my birthday and said to me, if you see anything buy it and I'll give you the money back.  Well I found a beautiful dress and surprisingly was able to buy it in a smaller size +  it was discounted! Shoppers dream!  I think it actually looked good on!!

 

Self Esteem

So I was reading this blog post about self esteem and how it can make us ugly people.  Generally I don't have the best self esteem, due to alot of things that have happened to me over the years and the non- supportive family that I have.  Well I shouldn't say totally unsupportive- they support what I am doing with Weight Watchers, but if it looks like I'm eating too much food- which I know I am not, because of how my weight loss is going I mean come on, I've lost 9.1kg in 5 weeks! I must be doing something right!!  But my mum always cooks my meals for me while I'm working.  So thats really all the support they offer.  

I often get told that "somethings not right with me" or "I need to see a psychiatrist", which isn't something that a supportive person should be giving out to people especially their daughter.  They often say that I have an angry out look on the world, and that its no wonder I don't have a boyfriend.  

I mean yeah I can get angry at people and myself, but so do a lot of people.  Let's look through the checklist:

Do I have anger? Yeah
Do I have joy? Yeah
Do I have love? Not in my life right now
Do I have laughter? All the time!
Do I have trust? Well, I have issues with that one.  I do trust only around 2-3 people in my life. 
Do I have fear? Yes
Do I have disappointment? Yes

Why do I have all these?  Because I'm human.  I'm not a non emotional alien from another planet!   We all have atleast some of these issues.  I do get angry at my immediate family, mainly because they think they are helping my harrassing me, but infact they are just making things worse.  The constant harrassement and persistent bothering are just not what I need and unfortunately they don't listen to what I want.  


Self esteem for me is a constant battle but at the moment I feel like it's a battle that I'm winning.  I went out to a Salsa Club this past weekend, all dolled up in a dress that suits my body shape right now, hair done and make up on.  I actually felt like such a girly girl, but it was awesome and my friends and even people who I'd never met told me how fantastic I looked and how much fun I was having and how happy I looked!  I realised then that myself esteem was at all time high!! I projected out positive and happy vibes because I really was happy!! 


Projection is a massive thing it allows yourself to project to other how truly happy you are.  I will definately be using this tool alot more often!

Since flying on that high, I am back in the kitchen on this public holiday Monday, cooking up a storm with my Goats Cheese, Spinach and Pumpkin Mini Fritattas!

Prepping the pumpkin and the spinach

Adding the goats cheese

Final Product!